Stray fridge beers include everything from boozy IPAs to sweet seltzers

We’re gonna be honest. You’ve caught us off our game this week. With Jack trying to learn the last layer of the Rubik’s Cube (which he did) and Chuck finally reconnecting with the Bennie from Bad Habit (he was late to class as a result, sorry Samrat), there’s been no time to buy a pack of beer to review. Luckily, Chuck also has a war chest of stray cans in his fridge that would rival any liquor store’s clearance section.

We present to you the stray fridge beer column.

While the stray isn’t necessarily our first choice for beers to enjoy, it’s absolutely the lifeblood of a healthy fridge and always seems to come in handy when you forget to make a stop at Liquor Locker or Coborn’s Liquor. Sidenote to any haters reading this: This is real life. Yes, we know that we switch tenses and points of view and aren’t grammatically correct. We spend enough time being formal during the day, and this column is our informal, disjointed playground.

Let’s get cracking. As always, don’t drink underage and Stop @ Buzzed.

**New Belgium’s Voodoo Ranger Juice Force IPA**

This “Top Gun” themed number was a pleasant surprise to see in the catacombs of Chuck’s fridge from God knows when. With Chuck going as Rooster from the new “Top Gun” for Halloween, this brew felt like a perfect match. The thrust-to-weight ratio on this tomcat is unmatched: 9.5% ABV and 20 IBU. We took one sip and it felt like we were chasing down a MiG going Mach 2. Trust us when we say that after a few of these hornets you’ll be buzzing the tower and singing “Great Balls of Fire” off key in a cheap pair of Amazon aviators in no time.

The beauty of the stray beer is finding a familiar favorite in the back of your fridge after you thought you’d drank them all. Finding a Juice Force leftover is like finding a 20 in your winter coat when you break it out for December. This beer gives you the confidence of Maverick, but don’t fret when a friend comes up to you and says “son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.” This beer can be our wingman anytime.

**Summit Patio Perfection Gose**

We won’t lie. We had no idea what the hell a gose was. Chuck had better memories of this beer when he bought a variety pack with it. Upon further review, it tastes kinda bad. It’s not a lemon shandy. It’s definitely not a sour. Maybe it would be better in the summer. For this day and age in this economy, it’s not our beer. Like, it’s fine, but we don’t recommend you buy it. There’s a reason nobody knows what the hell a gose is, and there’s a reason it was sitting in Chuck’s fridge for God knows how long.

**Dented Peach High Noon**

Shoutout to Chuck’s sister, Maggie (CSB class of 2016), who brought a few Peach Nooners when she visited on homecoming. We’re not sure how this Nooner was dented, but that’s just show biz, baby. We don’t usually bring seltzers/vodka sodas into the fold because we’re a few high-class fellas, but this seemed an appropriate time. As a couple of peach lovers, this seltzer screams our names. This is a top tier seltzer. Just a lovely blend of crisp soda water and peachy surprise. We’re not saying that this seltzer is our conversion from beers, but it might be nice to mix a few of these puppies in throughout our festivities.

**Fulton Sweet Child of Vine**

Dedicated readers of our last review might remember that Marty Ellis, Chuck’s dad, brought us a pack of Fulton IPA. While we didn’t get to it last week, this was the perfect stray to wrap up our subpar column this week. The 69 IBU on the label always catches our eye, as we prefer a playful amount of bitterness to offset our sweet personalities. This traditional Minnesota brew is sweet on the tip of your tongue but has a classic IPA bitter finish (this isn’t necessarily a bad thing). It was way better than Jack remembered. He’s not even upset that they named it after Guns n’ Roses anymore. We have really come around on this libation from our past transgressions. It’s like they say: sixths time’s a charm.

If you made it this far into the eyesore that is this week’s edition of the Beer Review, we thank you and love you. The gang is back in the lab playing “3v.3” nonstop and blasting Migos as loud as the speakers can play to honor Takeoff (RIP). It’s still a very long season.