FOMO: the fear of missing out is an intense experience

FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out. First coined in 2004, FOMO has become an intense experience for many of us.

While it has accompanied and been accelerated by the popularity of social media, we have had a long-standing concern that others are living a life that is far more exciting and valuable than our own.

Unfortunately, our fears have been amplified by our near-constant ability to observe the highlight reels or depictions of other people’s lives no matter how untruthful or unrealistic they may be.

The highly edited and stylized lives of others that we can now use to compare our lives to brings us to a place of feeling inadequate and out of touch.

This has been exacerbated by the increasing access to influencers, seemingly “normal” people cultivating a life paid for by the platforms and advertisements on which you are viewing them.

While you might realize that what you are seeing is likely fiction, or at the very least exaggerated or edited, your brain may not be as able to reality-check as you might expect.

We consume these stories with such volume and speed that our brains have little time to challenge the reality we are seeing, so we end up having the view that the world is an exciting place where everyone is having fun, being invited and living a life that feels just out of reach.

We compare where we are (maybe alone, scrolling, in the dark, not doing all of these fabulous things) and feel like the world has left us behind.

Reality check #1: Real life is actually far more boring than what you are seeing online. I know you know this. This is true for everyone. No one lives as fantastically as you are seeing on any site. No one actually wants to share this reality because it receives no reaction—no likes, hearts, follows or profit. So they leave out the boring stuff (or make up more interesting stuff).

Reality check #2: Yes, others are living their life. Sometimes that may not include you. Sometimes it may. It does not mean that you are unwanted, undesired or disliked. But here’s the fact: You are living your life too. They are missing out on yours just as you may be missing out on theirs.

Reality check #3: Most of the interesting stuff you will experience will not be captured with your phone. You will likely enjoy what you are doing significantly more if you put your phone down and be present. Here’s a test for you: When was the last time you went back to look at the pictures you took of your last concert, meal, hangout, party, etc.?

Reality check #4: You might not be able to wait for an invitation for your life to get more interesting. Give yourself permission to make your own fun. Check out the opportunities offered by the many clubs, organizations, programs, departments and others on campus.

Invite others along. Explore unique and unusual experiences that will give your life some variety. You are (likely) holding a powerful computer that can help you to find all sorts of fun things to do—yes, even in Central MN.

You will likely continue to feel FOMO and desire to be involved in everything going on around you (sounds exhausting).

Consider how you might create a life that you don’t want to miss out on: Get involved, create connections and fill your life the way you want it to be. Homecoming week is a prime opportunity to get involved.