Reviewers invite friend to taste-test whiskey variations

Welcome back to your favorite source of laughter and smiles each week.

You guys remember when Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl? In this case, we aren’t playing football but instead are drinking whiskey. But at this point in the semester, you and us are definitely losing, horribly.

This week we are joined by an avid whiskey drinker, Gavin Rupp, who has a whiskey knowledge far beyond our comprehension. As always, if you are 21, remember to stop@buzzed.

**Lost Monarch Whiskey**

The first whiskey we tried this week was Redwood Empire’s Lost Monarch Whiskey from California. It is made up of 60% rye whiskey and 40% bourbon whiskey. The rye whiskey consists of 95% rye and 5% malted barley, whereas the bourbon whiskey is made up of 75% corn, 21% raw rye, and 4% malted barley.

This beverage has a strong vanilla scent which is matched by a vanilla and caramel flavor. There is a slight maple syrup aftertaste. Mack describes this drink as “the best thing to come out of California since Levi Jeans.” To be fair, that was the last thing of relevance California has exported.

**Aged at Sea Voyage 17**

Jefferson’s Aged at Sea Voyage 17 (45% ABV) was the next whiskey we tried. This bottle is interesting because it is a classically made bourbon, but it is aged on the ocean, hence the name. This drink was not as sweet as the Lost Monarch but was still filled with flavor. It gave off a slight taste of caramel, salt and maybe a hint of espresso.

As the weather affects the whiskey’s taste at sea, this particular voyage had less variation compared to others. This led to the milder whiskey that is Sea Voyage 17. Without the highs and lows, the whiskey was able to age in a more traditional way. Fun fact, when this whiskey spent its time at sea, a bunch of rubber duckies were floating around the ocean with the boat. That is better than running into a bunch of scallywags or even worse, the Kraken. We wouldn’t be surprised if the next drink was actually just the ink of the Kraken. But hey, it’s still better than De-Lovely.

**Ardbeg Uigeadail**

Finally, Ardbeg Uigeadail, a single malt scotch from the Isle of Islay in Scotland. Islay is home to the smokiest peated whisky in the business with Ardbeg distillery being the ringleader of the hard-to-drink category of marvelous fluid.

With this specific elixir tasting of caramel, bacon, bonfires, back sweat, ladybugs and hints of paint thinner, this was definitely not a winner for Mack and Sam.

Gavin had a swell time listening to first-time drinkers of Ardbeg, Mack and Sam, explain the immense distaste they had for the flavor.

Mack’s early review consisted of “Tastes like a cigar was buried with it still in Churchill’s mouth and then it was dug up 10 years later put in a blender with water and then put in this bottle.” This sums it up perfectly.

**Reviewers’ last thoughts**

Well folks, that’s all for this week. With only one more Record to be published after this, we are passing the torch to our successors.

They clearly have some big shoes to fill. We actually aren’t allowed to disclose the size of our feet in the paper. That is a joke. I don’t know why we wouldn’t be able to do that. We can’t say big shoes because Mack has strangely small feet and you know what they say about small feet? Small socks.

Are you a single Bennie who yearns for adventure? You know the jester of Tortuga? Well, we’d like to have a little chit chat with you.

Anyways, back to choring.