Family Weekend IPAs leave reviewers wistful and reminiscient

Welcome back to the worst column of the student newspaper. Suzy (CSB class of 1984…Gotta love Bennies) and Marty Ellis and Martha and Mike Doyle made the trek up to Collegeville to take in the sights and sounds of their delinquent sons’ environment. Remember folks, these beverages are for Bennies and Johnnies 21+. If you are of legal age, remember to Stop @ Buzzed.

Seton 208, Jack’s apartment, hosted breakfast on Saturday morning, and worlds collided. Mike Doyle, a known beer snob, broke out the nearly expired Naturday Red White and Blueberry beers that he bought for $3.99 for a 12-pack back in Dubuque, Iowa. (We aren’t kidding, this actually happened.)

Suzy, who was very skeptical of this frat brew, was quickly won over by its blueberry aftertaste and Mike’s encouragement. Upon her approval (she said, “it’s actually pretty good!”) Mike scared the entire apartment with his claps that sound more like thunder than human hands. Martha, while not a beer drinker, had a carrying case of her rosé, which was a massive hit among both Bennies and Johnnies across campus, especially at the tailgate.

Marty, the giver that he is, brought some Fulton Sweet Child of Vine as a housewarming gift for us. However, we couldn’t help but ask about Third Street Brewhouse’s MN Gold Lager, as it is from Marty’s hometown: Cold Spring, Minn. He described this popular Stearns County beer as “Just beer. It’s an everyman’s brand that’s simple and predictable, unlike the less desirable Cold Spring Brewery swill of my youth.”

This is a microcosm of a wonderful weekend spent with our closest friends’ families. We hope all of you had a similarly lovely experience. We decided to review some hometown favorites in the spirit of having our families up and drinking good beers with them. Chuck selected a few tasty libations from Excelsior Brewing Co., and Jack brought a few little numbers from Dimensional Brewing in Dubuque, Iowa.

**I Like it Colada – Pineapple and Coconut Kettle Sour, Dimensional Brewing**

This one made us emotional. It felt like a slap on the back after driving in the winning run, with your dad saying softly, yet firmly, “I’m proud of you, son.” At least, that’s what we envision it feeling like. (Of course know our parents love us…we think.) It’s very pineapple-forward, and it tastes more like a punch than it does a beer. This beer has a nice, sour finish that leaves you smacking your lips in a good way, not in the 1 a.m. just before the lights turn on at Sal’s kinda way.

It’s more like a piña colada on the rocks, not blended, and doesn’t taste like beer. We like getting caught in the rain and making love at midnight after tasting this one. Not really any coconut taste, but that just might be our emotions.

**Big Island Citrus Blonde, Excelsior Brewing Company**

This beer is light. It’s good. Dare we say it is very good? Ultimately, we think it’s pretty good. The initial sips are accompanied by an orange-zest finish–less citrus but more subtle, like the rhymes of Phife Dawg in “A Tribe Called Quest” (who we’ve been bumping this week).

Honestly, we could drink a thirty-pack of them. It’s the AC/DC of beer: completely cross-generational, for moms and dads on the grill and frat bros and sorority girls about to go to some overrated party at a house with fake Greek columns out front. Might this be the lunch-pail guy of beers?

**Brolo Ties Double Dry Hopped Hazy with Citrus, Dimensional Brewing**

This is Chuck’s favorite doubledry-hopped IPA he’s had. Jack had no idea what that meant. Shows you who the more credible reviewer is. That statement is still a little skewed because most DDH beers are dog water. It’s buttery, smooth and bitter, with a bit of a fruit finish. As two reviewers who are weary after a few months of IPA consumption, this one is still always refreshing and welcome. It doesn’t taste hipster or anything like Portland. It’s not snobby, and it’s very accessible—not trying to do too much, like the game of Rudy Gobert or the city of Minneapolis (often called Diet Portland). We’d recommend this one for the fall or early spring.

**Bridge Jumper West Coast IPA, Excelsior Brewing Company**

This is a solid beer that reignites our flame for IPAs (but one more crappy IPA could cancel all that). It’s very different from the Brolo Ties. We struggle to call them both IPAs. Jack found this one to taste more akin to a lager, but that’s not a bad thing. As Marty Ellis would lovingly say, “It’s drinkable.” That would be an understatement. This brew is a perfect blend of all the good parts of an IPA and a fresh lager in one. Excelsior Brewing is not trying to reinvent the IPA into something that it isn’t. They do what they do best, make good beers.

To all the wonderful moms who took a picture with Charlie in his “I heart Moms” body paint at the tailgate…sup, we love you. We’re also glad that the Ellis family had a decent time, despite the bitter disappointment of having a son who’s still single. Even Martha was trying to set up Chuck at The La, to no avail. No comment on Jack’s status. See y’all next week, love ya. Long season.