Beer boys try whiskey, wine and questionable mixtures

Welcome back to your weekly edition of Average Beverage Consumer’s reviews. On this week’s episode, we are accompanied by Carter Krattenmaker. He is an avid advocator for stopping at buzzed and only drinking if you are of age.

After being of age for so long, we have gained a reputation for doing questionable things. For this review, we made quite possibly our worst and most questionable decision to date. We tackled the three Ws: wine, whiskey, and why did we just do that?

You may be asking, what do you mean by why did we just do that? Well, we decided to mix the two out of sheer boredom or a reckless abandon for our own well-being. Did we regret our decision? No. Would we do it again? No.

**Whiskey: Mars Iwai 45**

We broke the seal on our reviews by testing our first whiskey of the year, the Mars Iwai 45. From the wonderful country of Japan, this whiskey comes in at 45% ABV, about average for a whiskey.

One thing Sam noticed was that “whiskey” is spelled without the “e” on this bottle. Carter and Mack informed me that American whiskey is spelled “EY” and other whiskeys are spelled “whisky.”

As far as the flavor goes, it was a fairly smooth drink. Carter and Mack are much bigger fans of whiskey than I am, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it as well.

Actually, the more of it I had, the better it tasted. This whiskey had a much sweeter flavor than its American and European counterparts, which led to a less harsh burn, which I believe distillers refer to as “finish.”

This whiskey is not a drink to make an Old Fashioned with, due to the lack of a deeper flavor and the syrupy feel of it. It just doesn’t really work, kind of like our recently retired dads.

**Wine: Mogen David**

For the wine, we tried out a large bottle of Mogen David. Coming in at 11% ABV and $10 for a two-liter bottle, this is the perfect drink for any college student who despises the taste of alcohol.

Arguably just as similar to grape juice as the Stella Rosa from a few weeks ago, this wine was accompanied by an aggressive headache the next morning. For an 11% ABV, this is a surprisingly sweet wine and it may sneak up on you. Thankfully, Carter was there to ensure Mack and I stopped at buzzed while doing this review. This is a valid alternative for Wine Wednesday and a “The Bachelor” viewing party. But we aren’t uncultured, therefore, we watch “The Book of Boba Fett.”

**Why did we just do that?**

Up until this point, mixing the drinks has proven to be the best option. Well, this theory finally met its match. Whiskey and wine do not mix. Let me repeat: they do not mix. Not that we thought they would, but we had to try it.

So, staring the Devil in the eye, we swallowed this putrid drink. We were graced with a high likelihood of going to repent the next day. It is safe to say there are now eight deadly sins.

Mack would rather bring dishonor to the mighty Nord warrior/god from the game Skyrim—not the Greek Titan—than drink this foul drink again.

**Carter’s final thoughts**

I had some thoughts on the Mars Iwai, none of which will be repeated in any shape or form. If you have a sensitive tummy, I don’t recommend the Mogen in the slightest. There is more sugar in this than in any beverage I have ever consumed.

That is all for this week. Some questionable choices were made, but at the end of the day, well, we learned nothing, so might as well just go to bed.

If you want to be our Valentine, we have a half-finished bottle of Mogen to share with you. Just send us an email. Anyways, back to choring.