The intersection of sexuality and faith

The intersection of sexuality and faith is a difficult place to exist, especially when that sexuality is gay and that faith is Catholic. But what does it mean to be a gay Catholic in the twenty-first century? Many of us have experienced isolation from two communities that we love and that claim to be rooted in love. We are viewed unfavorably by both Catholic and queer communities because of supposed conflicting beliefs and “lifestyles.”At best, we are seen as paradoxical, at worst, hypocritical or condemned to hell. Yet, in a perpetual state of friction between these two groups, we exist.

I’ve come to find that most voices are peripheral to my own lived experience and are distracting from living a life that looks forward. Every queer Catholic lives within a cycle of consonance and dissonance: living what we know to be true from our own experiences, then having them negated through the Catechism or having our deeply-held faith negated by other queer people because of their own valid anger toward the Church. Few seem to be happy with their sexuality and faith coexisting in such close proximity to one another.

However, as these two seemingly opposing communities converge, one will encounter some of the most beautiful people—some of the most creative artists and greatest thinkers, some of the most loving and welcoming individuals, holy and selfless people of God. Our contributions have enriched our communities of faith and chosen families. We have lived God’s love when others refuse it to us. Without us, our churches and social circles would be poorer.

We can discuss nature versus nurture; we can discuss Old Testament passages; we can discuss the Pauline epistles; we can discuss what the Catechism teaches; we can discuss the hypocrisies of church leaders; we can discuss the abuses perpetrated by the Church toward those who don’t conform to its teachings. But maybe this time, we can discuss what Jesus taught in his summation and fulfillment of the law: Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. For LGBT people, it is only when we are able to love ourselves completely and wholly that we can, in turn, love God and our neighbors completely and wholly. We must be open and honest with ourselves and those around us, living in light and not in darkness. Then we can truly follow the great commandment.

So, what does it mean to be a gay Catholic? For me, it’s simple: “let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” The gay Mexican-American Catholic essayist Richard Rodriguez further sums up my remaining thoughts: “Why do I stay in the Catholic Church? I stay in the Church because the Church is more than its ignorance; the Church gives me more than it denies me. I stay in the Church because it is mine.”

For those of us who have been able to live outside of the closet in the light of God’s love and truth, we are truly fortunate. Despite hardships in our families and communities, we persist in living as light and love. And for those who are still unable to leave the closet out of fear or lack of safety, we wait patiently for you with our hands extended, ready to embrace you as you, too, live in light and love, complete and whole as children of God. “Be who God meant you to be, and you’ll set the world on fire.” — St. Catherine of Sienna.

Happy National Coming Out Day.