Listen with your heart as well as your ears

We live in a period where there is significant polarization inside and outside the church. This is obvious. Factions exist over doctrine, liturgy, social teachings, immigration and sexuality—to name a few. Factions can often display emotional intensity and ideological rigidity.

Much energy goes into defending our positions each day: developing the arguments, identifying the enemy, and adopting a posture of being right. This can be the case whether one is on the left or right, liberal or conservative, progressive or neo-traditional. Part of the problem lies in framing it in these either-or terms (i.e. left or right, liberal or conservative) as this itself can contribute to fragmentation, polarization, and social tension.

But where is the human heart in all of this, or better, the heart of God? At the risk of repetition, the Rule of Benedict encourages, for those who are inspired by it, that we attend to each other with the ear of our heart.

What did Benedict mean by this and how might it look in practice? Benedictine Sr. Marie A. Leonard of Sacred Heart Monastery in Cullman, Alabama, contends that listening “with the ear of our heart is the central core of [Christian] discipleship.” She goes on to wisely say that “[o]ne who listens takes on the posture of servant-disciple.”

Sr. Marie also states that the word “heart” refers to the center of the human person, and involves the spiritual, intellectual, emotional, ethical, and volitional dimensions that characterize humans.” This is a holistic view of the human person.

In other words, this does not include superficial listening, a listening focused on winning. It means going beyond merely hearing the words of another, and receiving these words with humility, patience, and compassion.

The point is not to treat the one with different perspectives from you as an opponent, but as an interlocutor in conversation and dialogue.

This, of course, can be very challenging.

Holy conversations, where social goods such as dialogue and understanding are the goal, require commitment by all involved. When one person believes that the real presence of Christ in the bread should be received on the tongue, and another believes that receiving it in the hand is fine, it behooves each to remember that both are made in the image of God. An opportunity emerges for each to better understand the other.

Interlocutors do not need to agree with each other but need to create intentional space for true understanding to flourish. The Benedictine vow of stability is important because it asks monastics to stay rooted in one place and attend to the moments of comfort and discomfort that living in community entails. This means not taking the easy route and cancelling each other, but rather firmly planting your feet during difficult conversations.

Here are some brief suggestions to try for listening with the ear of the heart. When about to begin a difficult conversation, mention to those involved that you would like to ask for God’s blessing on the conversation. Try to resist developing a rebuttal and seek to understand what the other is saying. Pay attention to what is going on inside of you. Ask: Am I fearful of something? Am I demonstrating God’s love and mercy in my actions?