How to foster healthy dialogue on campus and at the Thanksgiving table
This is the Our View, prepared for by the Editorial Board and the institutional voice of The Record.
Picture this: you are sitting at the Thanksgiving table just about to dig into your annual slice of pumpkin pie when your uncle says, “so, how is everyone feeling about the upcoming presidential election?” Dread immediately sets in as you try to scarf down the last bits of pie before all the magic and joy of Thanksgiving evaporates.
With the official holiday rapidly approaching, so too does the inevitable disagreement and tension between family and friends. While Thanksgiving is certainly a time where many people spend quality time with loved ones, there are bound to be serious and often heated conversations about current issues as relatives and friends that haven’t seen each other in a while reconnect.
In the face of the upcoming presidential election, international conflicts, various local and national issues and maybe even which pie flavor is the best, these disagreements seem poised to reoccur this year. Thus, we want to remind everyone that healthy dialogue and debate can and should occur when differences arise.
On campus, we have seen many good examples of discussion during points of tension and disagreement in the recent weeks. Although perfection is elusive, the conversation held by Exploring Latin American Culture (ELAC) in response to a CSB Dance Team Halloween Tik Tok (which you can read about in the Nov. 9 issue of The Record) exemplified the type of constructive dialogue that deserves to be commended and modeled going forward. Conversations surrounding the Israel and Hamas conflict, like the McCarthy Center’s “Ted Talk: Understanding the Israel/Hamas Conflict: A Look at the Historical Tension and Modern Impacts” displayed that there’s a place for questions and thoughtful interaction that can be beneficial for all involved.
As to be expected, there have also been examples of unhealthy and unhelpful forms of debate and conversation. Halloween events exposed the toxicity of anonymous online forms, to which we only have two things to say: (1) if you don’t think that your “anonymous” posts can be traced back to you in a heartbeat when necessary, think again, and (2) if you really feel that strongly about something, consider writing an opinion column for The Record. Columns are typically 400-800 words long and are due at noon every Tuesday.
Most importantly, this Editorial Board wanted to provide some helpful criteria that can potentially set the tone for campus events going forward, or maybe even just help you at the Thanksgiving dinner table:
First, know when and where these conversations should be happening. On campus, official events or moderated discussions can be great places to approach things from an academic and nonpartisan lens. At home, it might be as simple as when good conversations can happen: on the couch after dinner, maybe. At the dinner table when people have knives in their hands, probably not. If conversations do occur at improper times, try phrases like “let’s discuss this at a later time,” or “I don’t think right now is the best time to talk about this.”
Second, understand that it’s okay to agree to disagree, or even to walk away. Disagreements are inevitable–it’s not always worth your time to confront them head on. Feel free to honor their argument while holding your own position or simply remove yourself from the situation.
Third, admit when you are wrong or unsure. There’s no point to hardening your stance if you know you’re standing on shaky ground. Not only does that set a bad precedent for yourself, but it also is nonsensical–why argue just to argue? Along with that, be open to having your viewpoints challenged and maybe even changed. If you need to be so firm in your stance that nothing will make you see the middle ground, what does that say about the stance itself (and you)?
Remember, healthy debate is good. Disagreement is human nature. With an open mind, having your perspectives pushed can be positive. You aren’t always going to agree with everyone, and we should question our own and other people’s viewpoints.
Our Benedictine values of listening and respect for persons are essential to having productive dialogue. Whether you’re on campus, scrolling Yik Yak or getting interrupted by your uncle mid bite of pie, remember you are in control of how you interact with challenging viewpoints. We hope that you choose wisely.