Confronting loneliness with Benedictine commitment

Back in January I began working on my integration paper for my Master of Divinity degree at the St. John’s School of Theology and Seminary. The title of the integration paper is The Word in Human Experience: Phenomenology and Benedictine Listening in Catechesis with College Seekers.

I have been using some of the research on Generation Z that the Springtide Research Institute has published. Springtide focuses on people between the ages of 13 and 25. Their one report Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation is based on a national study conducted in 2019 with a sample size of 1,000, as well as 35 in-depth interviews.

Some of the findings are startling. The report states that one in three “young people feel completely alone much of the time. Forty-five percent feel as if no one understands them [and nearly] 40% have no one to talk to and feel left out.” Perhaps the most alarming conclusion the report makes is that participating “in religious groups has virtually no protective effect against the experience of loneliness.” The reason, though, is that membership alone “is not enough to decrease loneliness.” The report further states that “young people made it clear that when they encounter a group in which they find belongingness, it’s because of the people and the relationships they experience… belongingness is generated by relationships.” This suggests that the people and relationships provide a particular quality that helps establish a sense of belonging.

Two interrelated Benedictine practices can help create a sense of belonging: hospitality and listening. The Benedictine commitment to hospitality is grounded in the call to receive every guest as Christ. Such openness reflects what many young adults seek: inclusive communities where they belong before they are expected to believe or conform. Connected to this is the invocation that we listen with the ear of the heart in a manner that is attentive to words, emotions, silences, nonverbals and is performed without judgement. When one listens in this way, they themselves can be touched in their heart by others. For young adults who may feel unseen or not noticed, this kind of listening can help create a space of safety and trust.

These two practices are foundational for building community. This would be a community that privileges presence over transaction and invites people into meaningful participation, fostering connection, purpose and lasting formation.

How might this be implemented or practiced in college dorms? In college dorms, these principles can take concrete form through simple, intentional practices that shape daily life. Faculty residents, resident assistants and student leaders might establish regular “listening circles” where students can speak freely without interruption or advice, thereby cultivating trust and attentiveness. Open-door hours or weekly shared meals—whether in common rooms or hall kitchens—can embody hospitality by creating spaces of informal welcome. Small rituals, such as beginning floor meetings with a moment of silence or gratitude, reinforce presence amid busy schedules. Peer mentorship across class years can also foster intergenerational belonging within the dorm, while training in empathetic listening equips students to care for one another. Even modest gestures—learning names, inviting the newcomer, checking in after a difficult week—become powerful signs of a community where each person is seen, received and valued.