Giving yourself grace to grow into yourself

“Listen with the ear of your heart.” These words from the Rule of St. Benedict have remained with me since graduating from SJU. When I first heard those words, I just understood them as a reminder to listen to others around me. Yet now, I now understand it as an invitation to listen to ourselves with grace.

Whenever I first think about CSB+SJU, I often remember it through seasons: the hot summer days returning early for OL or RA activities, the browning of the autumn leaves and homecoming and especially the shock (and sometimes dread) of another Minnesota winter. I remember the liberal arts education and the exposure to Catholic and Benedictine thinkers like Virgil Michel. I remember the campus involvement – the SJU Senate, the McCarthy Center, E-Scholars, Res Life and Economics Club. I remember the study abroad in Bosnia & Herzegovina and Vietnam. And I definitely remember the nights out in Joetown, with stops at the Middy and the La, and of course “Piano Man” closing the night out at Sal’s.

Living in Minnesota also changed how much I understood about what home meant for me. Being thousands of miles away from The Bahamas made me better appreciate the uniqueness of my culture. At CSB+SJU, my attendance was part of a longstanding lineage of the hundreds of Bahamians who have studied at the institutions. Without planning to, I along with other Bahamians inevitably found ourselves serving as informal ambassadors for our country. The Bahamas was no longer simply the place where I hailed from – it was something which I carried with me on campus.

Yet, some of my strongest memories are with the people. From friends to professors and FRs, I didn’t always recognise it at the time, but I was deeply blessed to have had a village around me. And I very much needed them.

My college years were definitely not easy. Like weather seasons, there were also seasons of fluctuations when I was carrying more internally than most persons around me could see. There were, difficult experiences that at the time felt enormous. Sometimes, I wondered whether one difficult season or one imperfect moment said something permanent about who I was meant to be.

Commencement Day felt strangely triumphant and quiet. Years of all the classes, deadlines, relationships, challenges and future plans all culminated into that one single day. It was like the noise became quiet and the calm came after the storm. Even though I crossed the finish line, I still felt like I failed.

When I graduated in 2023, I imagined immediately staying abroad. Instead, I returned to New Providence. Returning home meant beginning again. Being around family and friends gave me room to reset, breathe – and serve. In the years since, life has taken me places I could not have fully imagined on that Commencement Day. I have started building my career in The Bahamas and have had the opportunity to serve and represent young people on local, regional and international stages.

None of it unfolded exactly as planned when I was a student at SJU. However, I now believe that those same experiences and opportunities which I was gifted at CSB+SJU were all tools of preparation. It’s like the tables have turned – now I’m carrying a little piece of my second home – CSB+SJU – with me now.

To the students reading, here are three things to keep in mind:

Find Your Village: You are not meant to figure everything out by yourself. Make the effort to find student mentors, friends, professors, FRs and campus organizations who will not only challenge, but empower you.

Carry home with you: This is especially important for international students, BIPOC students and anyone who sometimes wonder if they really belong and are included. Your lived experience matters and you don’t have to shrink yourself in order to belong wherever you are on campus.

Give Yourself Grace: There will be challenges and uncertainty during your college journey. You may even make mistakes. Sometimes, the plans during and after college will look nothing like the ones you originally envisioned, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s simply a part of your unique, preordained path and journey in your story.

If the person I am today in 2026 could meet that same Johnnie who first arrived at CSB+SJU, I would tell him not just to listen with the ear of his heart but also extend some of that listening inward.

Bennies and Johnnies – your journey does not need to be perfect. You only have to be willing to keep on going.