Disagreeing Better workshop held

Politics. A touchy subject for most Americans, especially as the presidential election looms in the near future. However, the staff at St. Ben’s and St. John’s are taking steps to encourage student discussion of these topics in a conversational manner.

For Jules Miyazaki, a senior at the St. Ben’s who attended the first workshop, it was an opportunity to “learn how to disagree with people, but also uphold their dignity as human beings.”

The workshop, developed by Braver Angels and moderated by Carol Bruess, began by setting up ground rules, clarifying that the workshop was made to allow students to pick a side and argue that. Instead, it was on strategies that would teach students the skills of LAPP: how to actively listen to others, acknowledge the opposing opinion, pivot toward offering their own view on the matter, and then state their perspective in a respectable way.

As the workshop progressed, Bruess introduced each new skill and explained how to apply it. She also ensured that students were able to discuss and practice each addition to the disagreeing skill set.

The Listening portion of the LAPP skill set discussed active listening. To become better at the art of disagreeing, it is important to not come up with rebuttals while you are listening to someone else speak. That is not active listening, and it can often result in misunderstanding what the actual meaning being said is.

The A in LAPP stands for ‘acknowledge.’ While using this skill of acknowledging, it is important to connect with what the other person is saying. If you are struggling to form an acknowledgement, you could always ask for a quick clarification, and if you can find a matter you agree with, mentioning your agreement could be helpful.

‘Pivot’ is what the first ‘P’ stands for. The steps for pivoting are simple, but important when disagreeing respectfully. First, ask the other person or people whether they would be okay with you giving your opinion. Then, wait for either a verbal agreement, or a clear nonverbal affirmation, such as a nod. Only then can you put forward your perspective.

The final ‘P’ in LAPP is in reference to perspective. This is where most people jump to when disagreeing, but it should be the fourth part in the process. There are five things to remember when doing this. The first is to use statements that begin with ‘I,’ rather than statements explaining why what you believe in is true. The second is to name the sources on which your view is based. Then, share a life experience regarding the topic if you have one. Fourth, try to mention something you agree with. Finally, avoid using negative and degrading labels when discussing policy and people.

Bruess’s hope for the Disagreeing Better program is to teach all students the skills that will help them discuss and disagree not just in a political context, but in all spheres of their lives. She felt that the first workshop and the ice cream social were great ways to get people excited about the program.

”One of the goals [of this program] is to encourage and empower people to seek common ground,” Bruess said. “We are so much more alike than we are different.”